Who Cut the Cheese?
Headshot of Grandma
No. 02 · GRANDMA
Case file no. 002  ·  Suspect profile

Grandma

a.k.a. The Duchess of Denial

"Well, I never."

Known for
Cat-eye glasses, pearls, a bun of iron
Natural habitat
The good chair. Nobody else sits in the good chair.
Favourite food
Cabbage soup, every Tuesday
Signature alibi
"It was the dog, dear."
Background check

The history

Grandma has been a lady her whole life, and ladies, she will remind you, simply do not. She was the bridge club champion of 1981, '82 and '83, and was only stopped in '84 when the entire club mysteriously left the room during the final hand.

She has knitted a jumper for every member of the family, including the cat, who did not ask for one. She keeps a hanky up her sleeve at all times, which she uses to waft the air in the direction of whoever happens to be standing nearby.

Grandma has never once been caught. Detectives believe this is because nobody has ever been brave enough to accuse her.

0 (nobody dared)Times blamed
Too many to countTimes the dog was blamed for her
At least threeHankies on her person
Evidence locker

Caught on camera

Grandma
EXHIBIT A · THE SUPERMARKETAisle 7. Cabbage. Coincidence?
GrandmaBUSTED!
EXHIBIT B · THE LIVING ROOMThe day the pearls weren't enough
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